I'm in an impossible mess. I need a Messiah

Photo from A Holy Experience  - Ann Voskamp

"It's a remarkable thing that you have been given to do - and also understandable in the light of all that you both - and perhaps especially Penelope - has been through.

Let us believe that the power and plan of heaven itself is in this prospect, and that you are going to receive every encouragement and resource available to see its accomplishment."

So wrote a wonderful older clergyman to us just a few days ago. And our hearts cried out yes, we want to believe that.

But crazy have been the past weeks and months. Our faith that we are called to this, our patience in the waiting, our trust that God can make it happen, have all been severely tested and tried. So we have been to our wits end. I think almost literally for Kim, my husband, dealing with mortgage lenders and solicitors and planning permission officers and insurance brokers and bank managers. (let alone coping with a demanding large church and now the Christmas season) It's over three months since our low offer ( see the story here: www.ministriesbydesign.org/excitingnews all change) was accepted and our excitement levels nearly exploded.

But life happened. Things took place - or didn't when they should have. The mortgage offer was withdrawn, delayed, reassessed, remeasured, re-offered. And lowered. Considerably.

We had to make the decision to sell our beloved South Carolina home as well as the London flat (which too has taken over three months to exchange since offer agreement) and the Bolt Hole. The Bolt Hole was withdrawn from the market - no one wanted it.

But the Lord did - He knew we would need it to live in while Mays Farm is being renovated.

And through it all, personal stresses and illnesses. I spent two hours on Saturday morning being assessed  by an independent Consultant Psychotherapist for the insurance claims. It was exhausting, draining, emotional. It almost knocked me out for the rest of the weekend.

What can I learn through all of this? For none of it is life threatening, none of it comes near to the horrors of the shooting in Connecticut and what those families are suffering. My salvation is not affected either.

Then today, an email from Michael Hyatt listing all he has being going through over the past week or two. And so I know I am not alone in the daily demands of every day life. He lists what he has learnt and it resonates with me:

My Take Away

So in the midst of this, I don’t have any big life lessons, other than to lean into what I know to be true:

                  God loves me.

                  This too will pass.

                  Be grateful—if not for all things then in all things.

                  Do the next right thing.

                  Don’t push myself too hard.

                  Get plenty of rest.

                  Prayer matters.

Yes. Yes, I echo, these are my takeaways too.

So I know I need every encouragement and resource. And where do I find them?

In the Messiah - who comes into these impossible messes and makes miracles happen. Even with mortgages and exchanges and buying and selling; even with a car which today needs a miracle too.

In time for Christmas?

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

Feeling like Barbara Woodhouse - or God

As you may have seen recently, there is a new member of our household. Gracie arrived on Saturday, a tiny scrap of 8 week old labrador puppy. She is asleep on my feet as I type. A gift to us as we leave this ministry and move on to a new one, she brings lots of love  - and lots of hard work! Yesterday, I signed an email to a friend "yours from the puddles and poos."  I rush around with kitchen towel, Mr Muscle and Vanish. An added problem is that I can't let her go into the Vicarage garden - she has yet to have her next inoculations, and we have a brood of foxes in the wilderness at the bottom of the garden, who leave their trademarks all over the grass. North London is full of vermin-laden foxes and rats, so no outdoor activity until injections+2 weeks.  Indoor litter trays seem odd for a labrador. And as I begin to talk to Gracie and 'suggest' various activities, I can hear the stentorian tones of Barbara Woodhouse in my voice, that legendary dog trainer on television, with her emphasis on 'Sittttttttt' and Walk - eeeeeeeees!'  I have yet to don a kilt.

But I can also see me and God in the way that Gracie and I interact. Gracie is totally dependent on me - for everything. Sometimes she runs away from me, sometimes she comes rushing towards me. I love her - unconditionally , in spite of having to clear up after her. A lot.

I know that God loves me like that; unconditionally. In spite of all the messes I create in my life  (figuratively speaking you understand) and all the clearing up and sorting out he has to do for me.  Sometimes I run away from him. Sometimes I rush towards him. HE still looks out for me -  he is El Roi, the God who sees me, wherever I am, whatever my circumstances. (Genesis 16)      I am learning from my little puppy.  One day, I pray that she will be a help and comfort to those who come to The Vine at Mays Farm.

When have you known God as El Roi, the God who sees?

Prayer changes things. Or so I always thought.

"How is the house?" Friends are kind to ask. " Is it yours yet?"

Well, no. No yet. We can't believe how long it takes to buy a house. Or sell a flat.

Or is it just us? Even our broker is amazed - and has lodged a formal complaint with whoever-it-is. And I chastise myself: I haven't prayed enough. I haven't offered the whole project up to the Lord every moment of every day of every week. I rather thought I had done that. And I'd moved on. My mind is busy with what will happen once the project is up and running. Thinking and praying about the Retreats and the Retreatants, about how I want to spoil them with breakfast in bed, plenty of time and space to connect with God, beautiful unexpected corners  inside the house and out. Who might come? Whoever they may be, Lord will you bless them.  Bless the house and bless the farm and bless the village. Make The Vine a blessing to all those who hear of it, come to it, retreat at it.

But in the meantime, it still isn't ours. We have yet to exchange a contract, in spite of the numerous pieces of paper which have been pushed at me to sign. In spite of the wonderful plans the architect has sent off to the Planning Office. In spite of the Aga sitting waiting to go into the fabulous kitchen which has been designed for me. And in spite of the fact that we leave St James in just 43 days. (I know, because I always have a count down to Christmas Day on my laptop. I love Christmas.)

And so I am thrown back on to God's mercy and grace. We can't make this happen at the right time.

But He can. And He knows the right timing. Can I trust him to do this at the right time?

I know I should pray and then leave it in God's hands - I've done that already for this place. and I know that prayer changes things. Or so I always thought. But now a new idea occurs to me - seeps into my mind, maybe gently prompted by the Holy Spirit. Look at 1 Peter 5.  That verse. The one about casting all your cares on to Him. So I look it up, remind myself afresh. And see what comes before that phrase.

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:6-7. (NLT)

Humble yourself under the mighty power of God. At the right time. And then it will be for HIS honour.

And the image in my mind is of casting, throwing, laying out. Myself on the floor in front of the Throne of Grace. My worries at His feet. I have been  reminded that my worrying and my anxiety and my frustrations help no one, not me and not this project. Only God. Only God can do it at the right time. He's already poured out blessing upon blessing upon brokenness. He's shown that He can make things happen.

Might you too join us in praying for this project, in the spirit of 1 Peter 5:6-7? It would be a blessing for us and I think for you too. Thank you.

 All images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Blessing upon blessing upon brokenness

It's not easy, buying a house. Or selling one. Like most people, we are currently doing both. At the same time as a complete change of lifestyle, ministry, work, business, geography and space. Like many people. So there is excitement, anxiety, stress - and blessing. Blessing upon blessing, many of them small blessings, each of them seeming to be God's provision, timing, leading.

On Thursday afternoon, we stood in the Piggeries at our new home.

The Piggeries!

We don't actually own this house yet. But the Aga for my new kitchen was being delivered, and it is being stored in the Piggeries for now. My husband found the Aga on ebay - a mere 5 years old, unwanted and eventually unbid for. No-one wanted to pay the enormous asking price, I suppose.  We couldn't; but a few emails and phone calls later, and a 4 door cream Aga is ours for a mere fraction of what it should have cost. Just like the house itself -  ours was the lowest offer,yet for some unearthly because heavenly reason, our offer was the one accepted.

The Aga was moved and transported it for us by an amazing father and son team - the son is a young man with severe learning disabilities, but able to help his father in their family business of redistributing Agas. It was humbling to see them working together, interacting, chuntering and cheering at each other. They slipped the Aga into a large piggery, and promised to be back when the kitchen is ready for it. And while we were there, back in London a dishwasher was popped into our garage - unwanted, surplus to requirement and would we like it for our new home? As we don't own one (all the appliances in our current kitchen belong to the church) we were delighted to accept.

The new kitchen needs designing. It's currently 4 areas separated with partition walls, with old uneven stone floors and not much else. But a friendly kitchen designer has offered her services - for free. My ministry of Retreats and Quiet Spaces in this new house needed setting up with a company, a trust, a Board of Directors, a Charitable Status. It's all being done for me - kind friends, congregation members, acquaintances  - giving freely and generously of their time and expertise; and suddenly Ministries By Design is a Company registered at Company House, and charitable status is on its way.

Others, whether friends known for a long time, or friends known only through Twitter, are offering time and prayer and skills for later when we could do with people to paint and decorate.

Or give the double aspect some TLC:

IMG_1400

Blessing upon blessing.

And as for the huge financial needs - I don't want to go into specific details, but I can mention loans, small gifts, grants (even one to pay the removal costs, as moving without a job to go to means there is no removal payments) donations, provisions.....  A long way to go yet, but enough so far to mean we can move ahead.

Blessing upon blessing, undeserved and unmerited.

At 5 am on Saturday morning, we were both wide awake. Heads full of plans for new kitchens or big physical tasks like laying underfloor heating. Too busy to sleep. Coffee in the kitchen in the darkness of an early morning, laptops wide open. Excited, anxious, worried, gleeful, perplexed.

Wondering whether we are totally mad. Wondering whether I will really be able to do what I feel called to do. After all, I've had 2 years off work, coping with PTSS and depression and broken dreams. I CAN'T DO THIS. WHAT MAKE ME THINK I CAN HELP OTHERS, especially those younger women clergy whom I long to support and encourage?

But then I re-read this, and knew the truth of it:

Many have found that their broken dream was an open door to a better dream that could ONLY come through brokenness.

And I remembered:

Attempt something so great for God that it be doomed to failure unless God be in it.

I am being blessed in and through the brokenness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

Where have you experienced unexpected blessings?

Where are you finding grace and power perfected in your weakness?

Might you encourage me too by sharing those?

WHY I AM GLAD FOR RAIN TODAY

"God sent a rain today

to show how miracles are made.

The trees and grasses looked and listened,

the hills did likewise.

Only man put up his umbrella -and grumbled and grumbled." - anon.

But I was determined to walk again this morning, in spite of the heavy rain. I donned wellies and raincoat, set off for Ally Pally, put up my umbrella.

It was wholly and completely different to yesterday. Then, the sun shone warm on my face, the sky blue to my gaze. The crowds were out, taking gentle exercise on a pleasant autumnal Sunday morning.

I dodged through groups of runners and cyclists, passed the greyhound owners club as they lined up their dogs, stepped out of the way of Bugaboo mummies as they hurtled their offspring along the footpaths. All around me was noise - dogs and babies, shouts and song, a veritable Babel of  mid-European languages (and occasionally some English.)

In spite of the crowding, I tried to listen for the Lord's voice, to find Him in the walking and rhythming of my pace. I laughed at the sun and gloried in the warmth and rejoiced in the time away from family and friends for a while. Round and up and down and round, until 12,000 steps registered.  Then I left the trees and the grasses to the people, whose Palace apparently it is.

Today, there was no-one. Just me and my umbrella, the rain and the falling leaves. And God. In the silence of the falling rain there was just Him and me. No other distractions. No dogs or people, no babies or Babel. I splashed in a puddle, gloried in the autumn colours still radiant in the rain.

And wondered afresh at the contrast. In the rain, the gloom, the damp, it was easier to listen to the Lord. No other joyful distractions.

I thought again of the gratitude in the brokenness, of the eucharistic moment of giving thanks when the bread is broken, of the miracle that comes from much brokenness.  It was hard to hear Him in the happiness of the Indian summer; in the rain and aloneness, He seemed much nearer.

Had you offered me a choice, I would have chosen sunshine over shadow, richness over rain. But I would have missed God's voice.

I am glad I walked again today. It was a Retreat: under my umbrella was God - with me.

When God drills deep, He always strikes a fresh new spring.

Over to you - when do you find it easiest to listen to the Lord, to hear that still small voice?

Can I live by faith? The first hurdle arrives.

The initial excitement of finding a house that can be our family home as well as provide a place of peace and sanctuary for others has lasted for a while! Feeling called by God to pursue that dream is exhilarating. If you missed the 'formal announcement', you can find it here.

And for a while we have known blessing upon blessing. Not just that the sellers chose us in spite of ours being the lowest offer; or our London flat going under offer within a few days for more than we had imagined it might be worth; or the sense of the house being the 'right' place every time we walk in.  But more than all those, the 'sixth sense' type of feeling or knowing, that deep imponderable, that the Lord is in this and is making it happen.

So we smiled and accepted the most amazing offers of help - this person doing all the legal work to set up the charitable Trust for us, that kitchen design person offering their services for free, this one who knows how to get grants for insulation doing the ground work, that one offering to put together a little group of initial donors to the Trust. And the kind comments, tweets, emails, letters, cards -  from friends and acquaintances, family and congregation - the sense everyone has that this is 'right,' this is what we are meant to be doing. And people we haven't even met offering to come and be praying labourers when we need them; a member of a youth group we ran 30 years ago writing out of the blue offering to come and help. The couple we asked to be Chairperson and first trustee of the board saying yes  .... blessing upon blessing. And we can't quite believe it's all happening and that there are less than 90 days until we leave the church here.

But.

And there was bound to be a first but.

The mortgage company we used for the London apartment have refused to 'port' the mortgage. We hadn't counted on that. We took out that mortgage years ago when we were first in the States, both of us on the generous salaries that clergy there often enjoy. Now we are stepping out into the unknown, really living by faith as we take on this new project;  there is no provable  income in the future. The mortgage company don't like that!

So here is the first stumbling block.

Can I trust the Lord in this? Do I believe He can sort it out? And if I say, yes I do - do I mean it or is it just that I can hide behind my husband knowing that he is making phone calls and filling in forms and doing his best to find a new mortgage provider?

Because if I can't trust now, if I can't keep praying AND trusting, in this first hurdle, what of the next? And the next?

So here is my prayer request:

Will you pray with us that the Lord will indeed provide what is needed?

That we will learn to trust in God's provision and God's timing?

Listen to these children singing one of my favourite songs from Isaiah, a song we sang a lot on the first Cotswold Pilgrimage; click on the link for the music to play while you continue reading:

Surely, it is God who saves me; 
I will trust in him and not be afraid.

For the Lord is my stronghold and my sure defense, and he will be my Savior.

Therefore you shall draw water with rejoicing 
from the springs of salvation.

And on that day you shall say, 
Give thanks to the Lord and call upon his Name;

Make his deeds known among the peoples; see that they remember that his Name is exalted.

Sing the praises of the Lord, for he has done great things, and this is known in all the world.

Cry aloud, inhabitants of Zion, ring out your joy, for the great one in the midst of you is the Holy One of Israel.

(Canticle 9 The Song of Isaiah)  

Attempt something so great for God that it be doomed to failure unless God be in it.

Much loved stairs

Stairs

Old stairs, worn and caressed by the feet of centuries, nibbled by a worm or a beetle, twisting up to attics of memories and rafters.

I love them already. Soon, they will be the stairs of my new home, leading me up and on, a promise of things to come, places to be, excitements of exploration.

Representation of an incline, a tread, to things as yet unknown. Warm to my touch in the late summer sunshine, enticing me upwards, onwards. Following the One who walks ahead, one step at a time.

To a place of His glory, His choosing.

"I do not know what lies ahead, the way I cannot see

But One stands near to be my guide, He'll show the way to me.

I know who holds the future and He holds it in HIs hands.

With God things don't just happen, everything by Him is planned.

So as I face the future, with its problems large and small

I'll trust the God of miracles, give to Him my all."

- Eugene Clark

Exciting news: ALL CHANGE!

Mays Farmhouse, Hullavington

Well - take a deep breath; and go make a cup of tea.  RIGHT NOW ……. OK? Sitting down? Here goes:

Our whole future has been changed in a whirlwind just these past few weeks.  We will be leaving London and all its painful associations just after Christmas. There; I've said it; and the lovely church family at St James have been told today. It's official!

As you know we are both somewhat bruised from the tragedies and upheavals of the past few years and in particular I have had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, following the awful accident in which I saw my mother die. The constant London sirens, blaring up and down the Muswell Hill Broadway just by our house have brought so many moments of terrible flashback, and we were advised some time ago to consider moving. A few months ago we both strongly felt the Lord say that it was time we were to begin pushing doors to see where He would lead us and what we would be doing.

We have indeed pushed a few doors, but nothing felt right nor fell into place.  And then, about 8 weeks ago, we both suddenly felt that it was right to do something totally different, something which would give the freedom to work in both the UK and the States, and not tie us to one timetable in one place.  Something where we could each use what the Lord has given us in ministry - Kim for mentoring and coaching younger clergy,teaching on church leadership, supporting those taking on larger churches; and me for retreats and pilgrimages and for spiritual direction for younger clergy women.

We started to look for a property in the UK to use as a base and a small retreat centre; in mid August I found one on the internet, went to the open morning and felt the calm and presence of the Lord as I walked in!  It's just 5 miles from our little Bolt Hole; it's an ancient farmhouse not too far from Bath, dating back at least to the early 17th century.

Suddenly as we started to pray about it everything began to fall into place VERY quickly. We had to put offers in by Wednesday 29th August.  Apparently ours was the lowest offer. But it's been accepted (unbelievable!) and we met with the sellers and spent an afternoon with them (they will be doing up the large barn across the driveway so will be near- neighbours) and they said they just felt they wanted us to have it.  Is that the Lord or what???  So we put our London flat on the market on a Wednesday and an offer was made on the Monday and we accepted it - it is not far short of what we have to pay for the Farm. WHAT provision!

Then, just as we were going to France for a week, I spotted a book on Kim's desk, which, he said at the time, he couldn't remember where it had come from. I read it whilst away, and the way I was praying about the Farm completely changed - from I WANT IT to PLEASE BLESS IT, please bless whoever lives there, please bless the village and all those there. So I spent the week praying that the Farm would be a blessing to whoever bought it and a blessing to those round about; and to be able to live lightly to it if we didn't get it. On returning, I phoned my friend who lives opposite Mays Farm and mentioned the book: Ray Godwin's 'Grace Outpouring.'  To which she replied that she and her husband read it a few years ago and have based their ministry in the area on that exact book and way of praying.

When Kim shared our vision for a little Retreat Centre at Mays Farm with the Church Wardens and Senior leaders at church, their reaction was been amazing: HUGE sorrow at the parting but HUGE belief that this is the right thing. And that if it's right for us it must be right for St James too.  So it has been announced in church today:  September 23: the exact second anniversary of my mother's tragic death.

We are now beginning to think more clearly about both the short-term and long-term futures! We are also having to scrimp and save - we need every last penny for this new project, as the house needs total renovation; it has not had anything done to it AT ALL for at least 50 years and even then not much was done.  Being an old farmhouse though that means that all the old (VERY old) stuff is still there - inglenook fireplaces complete with ancient spit hooks, copper sinks, stone fireplaces … and the dairy and the cheese room … the outside double toilet …. it is like a museum!! We love it.  I went into one old area and the new neighbour asked what I would do with that room and I heard myself say :This is the chapel. And so it will be. Not sure why I thought that….  but it's right.  The orchard will be full of little quiet spaces; there will be 6  bedrooms with private bathrooms, several of which will have adjoining sitting rooms with pull out beds;  so not a vast retreat centre, but it will sleep 12 - 14 comfortably.

A third of our time will be spent in the USA (spread out over the year) and Kim will work 75-80% of the year, to keep a better life/work balance; we will be setting up Trusts with a board of trustees to keep us accountable, in both the USA and the UK.

But a little sabbatical first, which will be a physical one: overseeing and doing a lot of the work on the house. And another little God-incidence: the Bishop wants to pay Kim until the end of March so we can have a 3 month sabbatical (and store our furniture in the Vicarage too)  Another HUGE provision whilst we begin the project. A friend in Bath is doing the plans; the builder, plumber, electrician are all signed up, and we hope to start the work in December - the solicitors are doing their usual thing at the moment with all the paperwork!

So my vision which the Lord is giving me is for THE VINE (my retreat house, based on my ordination verses from John 15) and there are 2 vines growing in the (walled!) large orchard.

It seems that the Lord has his hand on this.  We were given Isaiah 60:22 last week: "I am the Lord; in its time I will do this swiftly" and it really does feel as though this is His timing and He is doing it swiftly! Things are falling into place in remarkable ways in answer to prayers. We already have the chairman of the board of trustees for the UK.  God is being SO good. Of course, there is a long way to go yet, and I am sure there will be ups and downs.  BUT ….!

So now you know:  Mays Farm.  Our new home. We are moving after Christmas.

Halfway to heaven

Tanya Marlow is passionate about teaching the Bible, answering tricky questions of faith and training others to do this.  In the past she has done this in student and church ministry and as Associate Director of the Peninsula Gospel Partnership (PGP) Bible training course in the UK. Right now she does it by reading Bible stories to her gorgeous toddler, as she learns what it means to be a stay-at-home mum who is also currently housebound with an autoimmune illness. Her blog, Thorns and Gold, can be found at http://tanyamarlow.com where she writes about many things, but mainly the Bible, suffering, and the messy edges of life. We sat back in the airplane seats and exhaled, half- triumphantly, half-exhaustedly. We had done it - somehow we had managed to get a suitcase, a rucksack, a disabled and chronically ill wife (me), a restless toddler and an exhausted husband onto the flight. Below us, we could see them throwing the bags onto the plane with a certain degree of carelessness. We felt the relief of no longer having anything to carry.

My mind ran over the chaos of the past few days: the packing, the writing of lists, the resting in preparation, the phone calls, the last-minute shopping for essentials, the researching of the symptoms of sunstroke in under-fives, the rush of the deadline to finish remaining work.

There are times when life is a whirlwind and we are whirling within it. Our days had been full of flurry and preparation and whirlwind and now we sat, waiting.

**********

The plane took off, and I just watched the landscape change from the window. With a sleeping toddler on my lap, there wasn't much else to do. People, cars, trains, were reduced to busying insects. There is always more countryside, more space, it seems, when viewed from the air - acres of land that I am not aware of when on the ground.

As we went higher I seemed to slow down. People and the small scurrying movements were no longer visible, just the twinkling lights of cities. It's strange to just have the sound of the plane and the murmur of passengers' conversations whilst watching a whole country spread out beneath you -  like watching a movie on mute.

There are so many people in the world, living their lives while God watches.

*********

We were above it all, and now into clouds, white and soothing.

This is the in-between.

When we landed, there would once again be a flurry and frenzy. For now, everything was still. We were journeying, but in a place of quiet and stillness.

***********

This is the value of a retreat.  It is not the destination, and we do not spend our lives there. It is the in-between. It is a journey in quiet and stillness. It is the chance to leave some of the baggage we have been carrying, to view our lives from above, at a distance, to see the whole world and reflect on the creator who holds it.

We can close our eyes, we can exhale. We can watch the clouds and think on the glory of our Redeemer. We can listen for the whisper of God and pray that we might see our lives through His eyes.

Over to you: How have retreats helped you see life from a different perspective? Reflecting on the size of the world helps me to remember God as creator and sustainer. What things help you to reflect on the nature of God?

Prayer and Puppies

How does your personality and temperament impact your prayer life and the way in which you spend time with God?

This was a question I posed yesterday because it is an area I am beginning to explore. Personally I loved a silent 10 day retreat - but is that because I am by temperament introverted (Myers Briggs INTJ) or melancholic (Littauer) ? Were I an extrovert would I prefer a congregation of 10,000 loudly praising, singing, dancing? Or is it not as simple as that? So I have decided to do some more investigation - could this be an important step for you, for me, for those I work with as Spiritual Director or lead on Pilgimages and retreats? My first step was to email the Christian business Consultant who works with the staff at our church, and who is somewhat of an expert on the Myers Briggs method of personality testing. He has suggested two books: Pray Your Way by Bruce Duncan, an old book looking at types of prayer based on your Myers Briggs Indicator;  and  Your Personality and the Spiritual Life by Reginald Johnson, another older book whose subtitle says that Understanding who you are can deepen your relationship with God . Researching those led me on to Personality and Prayer, by Ruth Fowke which looks at finding and extending the prayer style which suits your  personality. So these books will soon be dropping on to my doormat and  hopefully helping me in this journey of investigation. And if you know of any other good resources might you let me know?  Thank you! And I will be blogging more about this - it so obviously is something that intrigues many of us, judging by the sheer volume of people looking at the post yesterday.

On an entirely different note , here's something we are really enjoying.  Take a look : it' s SO CUTE and will make you smile!

HOLLY'S HALF DOZEN

PRAYER STYLES FOR YOUR TEMPERAMENT

Myers-Briggs.  You either love it or hate it!  Or the Enneagram; or Florence Littauer; or any other personality plus or temperament type. This was circulating on SM the other day: did you find yourself?

So often we are told how to pray - or even when to pray - and it seems that 'one size fits all.'  For years and years, I knew that I had to have a 'Quiet Time' every morning - half an hour set aside first thing, to read my Bible (using the prescribed daily notes) and pray. It was a good routine and an excellent habit.  It suits many people. The days I did that and could tick it off my 'to do' list were good ones. Time with God - check. Now I can get on with the rest of the day.

But it set me up for failure; for guilt and more guilt as I failed day after day. I got behind and then had so many days to catch up it hardly seemed worth it. The questions in the Notes did not seem to elicit the 'right' answers from me.  I would start again - on January 1st; on a Monday; my birthday, the first of the month. Sometimes it worked and I carried on. Sometimes it did not.

Now I can tell you that there are so many other ways to pray, to read the Bible, to connect with God. No longer do I tick the Quiet Time off my to do list and move on. Instead,  I want to practice the Presence of God throughout the day.

Over the past weeks we've looked at a thirty second retreat, a one minute retreat, a day retreat, even a 10 day silent retreat.

For those who are quieter introverts, happy  with their own company, a retreat can work very well.

But what if you are a madly extroverted extrovert? How would you best spend time in prayer? What helps you connect most with the Lord?

I would love to hear from different personalities!

What's your personality? And what's most helpful for you in spending time with God? Where do you connect best? What sort of retreats (if any) do you find most helpful? What suggestions can you make for those with your personality/temperament type?

HELD IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND

I am writing a daily blog (Monday to Friday)  on preparing spiritually and physically

to lead a Pilgrimage of 100 miles in September.

for details of the Pilgrimage, click on the dropdown Cotswold Pilgrimage bar at the top of this page 

Might you be walking over the weekend? Strolling somewhere perhaps?

Maybe you might take a few moments to pray for someone?

Maybe someone who is struggling, or who is ill, or facing a difficulty.  Maybe someone you would just like to hold in prayer for no particular reason.

Someone you love.

Someone you met.

Someone the Lord brings to mind.

While you are out walking, pick up something you can easily carry in your hand – a sun warmed stone, a wild flower, a shell, a twig ……

Hold it.

Feel it.

Use it to remind you of the one for whom you are praying.

And maybe you pray aloud.

Maybe you pray internally.

Maybe there are no words but a silent holding of the person in your heart and your prayer.

When you are ready to release the prayer, the person, choose where to lay down what you  are carrying.

Knowing that the Lord continues to carry them in the palm of His hand.