How to relinquish what you can't let go of - but needs to go
Autumn leaves falling always remind me of the grace, the gift, of letting go in order to have rest and restoration. The leaves float and fly, relinquishing their hold.
This gorgeous leaf landed on my windscreen as I parked the car the other day. Its beauty took my breath away - the rich jewel colours, the patterns and veins, the length of the stem. The leaf has learned the art of relinquishment, and it fluttered and floated gracefully down, balletic in its movements. It seemed a gift straight to my heart as it rested lightly in front of me, its gorgeousness reaching out to me as a reminder of the word relinquishment. I’m relearning relinquishment in many different areas, and it has brought a sense of freedom and the gift of grace, time and time again, in different situations, in different decisions, in different areas of ministry.
It all began a couple of years ago, when I read Pen Wilcox's book, Relinquishment: Making space for what really matters.
I discovered so much about priorities, what's important, what gives me life. I discovered that much of what I hang on to isn't actually vital - vital as in life-giving, energising, encouraging, enabling. "The more one is thrown back on oneself, relinquishing the props and refuges of accomplishment and accumulation, the more clearly shines the presence of the living God." (from Relinquishment by Penelope Wilcox)
I don’t think I’m a very quick learner. Or I forget too easily the lessons learned previously. What is the Lord reminding me through this jewel of a leaf?
Learning to let go
of clothes that honestly I will never wear again
of status and the need to be needed
of addictions to busy-ness, acquisitiveness, food or anything else
of always wanting to be right or have the last word
of situations I can't change or that shouldn't be changed
of clutching on to people, to possessions, to places
of grudges, grievances, even guilt
of the oughts, shoulds, musts and have to's
Learning to live like Christ
- who relinquished everything
"Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion." (Phil 2, The Message)
Learning relinquishment
Lest that all sounds negative and re-active, even door-mat like, it’s much more juicy to think of it as a pro-active accomplishment:
a daily, moment-by-moment active choice
it takes determination yet it’s not actually that hard
with the word at the back of my mind, it just naturally pops up in lots of situations
the joy and freedom that comes as I use it to relieve a situation gives such pleasure that I want to use it again and again!
it's definitely a positive, pro-active way to live
and it's a command in Phil 2:5 "The attitude you should have is the one that Christ Jesus had."
I didn't sit down and spend hours contemplating the idea of relinquishment. Nor even made a list of things to relinquish. ( I do like a Good List! So I wrote the one above especially to share with you.) The word is simply coming into play a lot. And I mean A LOT.
I can hardly believe how often it’s the answer.
The answer that leads to peace, to grace, to relief and to restoration.
And most of all to renewal.
In this seasonal relinquishment, what is no longer needed is let go; it’s gone, followed by rest and then the glorious greening of next spring. There would be no spring without the relinquishment of autumn, no new life without the period of rest and dormancy and letting go of what is no longer needed.
Holding on to what I no longer need or require is one of the bars of my cage, preventing my spirit from soaring.
You too?
